My Knight In Fluffy Armor

Things My Cat Has Defended Me From

• The drawstrings on my running shorts
• His tail
• Getting too comfortable in my office chair or the couch
• Paper cuts (by sitting on the newspaper/magazine)
• Being smothered by blankets (by smothering said blankets first)
• Missing lunch
• Unexciting walks past furniture under which he can hide

Things My Cat Has NOT Defended Me From

• My Cat