Welcome, come on in. Make yourself comfortable. Can I get you a drink? Cookie? How’s the months and weeks? Great, great. Look, here’s the deal. 2014? You can’t be an ass. Seriously. If you’re an ass, I will send you packing and forget all about you and wait for 2015.
See, 2013 was a bit of a rough year. We lost a couple of long-time much loved pets. I had a major job change and Steph’s took her away from us far too often than we expected. My writing? Well, that could have been done in invisible ink for all the good it would have done.
But 2014, I’ve got high hopes for you. I’ve already done the impossible: the first time I had to write 2014 this year, I got it right. ON THE FIRST TRY! So I’m going to lay out some resolutions and see if you’ll be able to help me with them. I’ll keep it simple and follow the example of the cool Fran Wilde who throws up numbers for her resolutions. Let’s see if you can follow along.
The number of words I intend to write by December 31. That is a mere 273.9 words per day, a little over one page in Microsoft Word. Doesn’t mean that I have to write every day but there’s no reason that this is an unreachable goal. Also, 100,000 is roughly the number of words I expect to my next novel to be. So it works out, eh?
A lot of factors went into why I didn’t write last year, stuff I don’t want to dwell on, but nonetheless, this is something that I should … er, *have* to overcome if I want to do this writer thing.
I will submit Asymonte, my first novel, to at least 50 agents before the end of the year. Hopefully one of them will bite.
One space after a period. This is actually something in writing that a lot of publications are moving to and in my new role writing documentation, I have to follow the same rule. As someone who has ALWAYS done two spaces, it’s a really hard habit to break. One friend suggested setting up an auto-correct to change two spaces to one and I’ll probably do that. But I gotta get in the hang of it.
Oh hell … I’ve already screwed it up in this blog post. This is gonna be a hard one.
I turn 40 this year. So I make the resolution that I will not let a mid-life crisis interject itself into my life. Also, I’ll not strangle folks who make all those ‘Over The Hill’ or old people jokes. The last part of this resolution is of course flexible. Very, very flexible. Make note, Greg and Jon …
So there you go, 2014. Think you can handle it? Good.
One thought on “Welcoming 2014”
You are old, you are over the hill, and you are a joke. I only added this extra sentence to show that I can use one space, and not two, after a period. You are old and cannot.
*cue the strangulation scene*
*cue laughter from stangulee*
*cue cursing from stranguler*
*cue wheezing and gasping of breath by strangulee and stranguler…..*