Moose and Ink

“Of course the human is still alive.

Despite his many and ridiculous flaws, I am forced to keep his company.  After all, he is the only one capable of opening the fridge and the cans which contain my food.  Without him, I would be forced to give up my breakfast, my late breakfast, my lunch, my afternoon snack, my dinner, my evening meal, and both my 1am and 3am snacks.

You have not seen him because he is lazy.  So very lazy.

Now leave me.  I must learn the language of these birds in the front yard so that I may conquer them as I have you humans.”