A Letter to My Wife, Re: News from Home

Dear Steph,

It’s been a little over 36 hours since you left on your business trip to Chicago and things back here at home have been a little … rough.

“Phil? Can you hear me, Phil? Oh god, he got Bob too?!”

Things were going well up to the point that Tim Tam realized you were gone.  I think this came to him when I was the one grooming him rather than you.  A little after that, he attempted to assassinate me.  He did this by darting out from behind the couch and tripping me.  I foiled his plan by leaping over him, unfortunately, I landed awkwardly and hurt my right shoulder.

I thought that would be it but the cat is persistent, if nothing else.  Once he discovered that I had been injured, he acted again.  However, this time he recruited others in his attempted coup d’état.  He sought support from some ‘Made Men’.

The ambush was sudden and almost effective but again, I thwarted it at the cost of some indigestion.  In an effort to dissuade any further attempts on my life, I made an example of his co-conspirators.

That’s the news from home.  Hope Chicago is nice, can’t wait to see you on Friday.



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