A Conversation with a Website

Website: Congratulations!  Your flight is booked. Now we just need your Advance Passenger Information.

Me: Sure.  How do I do that?

Website: Simply fill out this form.

Me:  Great.  *whistles while entering in all the necessary information including a series of rather long numbers* And … Submit!

Website: I’m sorry, You do not have permission to change existing details in this booking. Please click on the button below to view or change information for this passenger.

Me: This button?  Huh.  I could have sworn I checked that before but I’ll re-enter all the information, check that box, and hit Submit again.  There you go.

Website: I’m sorry.  You do not have permission to change existing —

Me: Wait, are there any other boxes on the page?

Website: Just the one.

Me: Then I checked that box.

Website: I know.

Me: But you’re telling me that I didn’t do it.

Website: Because you did not check that box.

Me: I did.  You just told me I did.  There’s only one bloody box on the page.

Website: I’m sorry.  You do not have …

Me: Oh, fine, shut up.  I’ll just fill all this out again … wait, why do you have me listed as a Female?

Website: I’m sorry, ma’am.  Is there an error?

Me: Yes, there’s an error.  I’m not a woman.  Seriously, how many women do you know with the name Matthew?

Website: I’m sorry, but we have a policy of non-discrimination and we respect the privacy and lifestyle choices of all of our passengers, ma’am.

Me: Look, I told you, I’m not a woman.  Right there, it says Mr. Matthew Hughes.  Mr as in Mister.  As in the English honorific Master.

Website: I’m sorry.  If there is an error in your passenger information, we can correct that for you.  Simply fill out the Advance Passenger Information and we can get you ready for your flight.

Me: You called me … oh forget it.  Just fill out this form, right?

Website: Yes ma’am.

Me: … Fine.  I’ll try again.  There and Submit.

Website: I’m sorry, You do not have permission to change existing details in this booking. Please click on the button below to view or change information for this passenger …  Ma’am.

Me: … now you’re just screwing with me.

Website: It’s possible.