On this, my final day as a 35 year old, I give you proof that I am no wiser after having been on this Earth for three and a half decades:

Me (leaving the house after lunch) : Well, I’m gonna head back for my last work day as a thirty five year old.

Steph : You going to sign up for the AARP then?

Me : Hey, I can send a picture of your hair along with it.  Maybe we’ll get a family discount!

Steph : *glare of death*