From the death of lambs on Monday and the herding of sheep to my Cat and Dog both experiencing Spring fever, this has been a week of animals.
Given that I’ve spent so much time around them, I thought I’d share with you my non-scientific observations of these creatures and what I believe to be their mindsets.
You Spot Something Edible
Eat. Bonus points for moving mouth in a partial circle and staring blankly. Especially if a Human is watching – it creeps them out.
You Are Approached by a Canine or other Vicious/Violent Creature
Run away. Stop as soon as the canine or other Vicious/Violent creature has captured and killed another member of the flock. Chew on grass and watch with a blank stare. Cheering is discouraged.
You are Approached by a Human and ARE NOT Cornered
Run away. As far away as possible. Make sure to go up and down hills, underneath trees, and put as many obstacles between you and the Human (i.e. sheep droppings, gopher holes, etc).
You are Approached by a Human and ARE Cornered
Stand still. Very still. Grow roots into the ground and do not move no matter how much they yell, shout, or push you. Stand fast even if a tractor is brought in to budge you.
You Find a Human Who Does Not Appreciate Your Company
Sit on their lap. Or on the newspaper or book they are reading. Bonus points for sticking your butt in their face.
You Find A Human Who Appreciates Your Company
Allow them to pet you for several minutes. Once their guard has been lowered, bite them.
You Find a Pile of Towels
Sit on towels, taking time to knead it down to a comfortable level. Clean self. Spot loose string. Attack string! Attack string! Clean self. Attack string! Knead towels back to a comfortable level. Attack string while it’s guard is down! Hack up a hair ball. Clean self. Walk away with dignity.
The Humans Are Away and You’ve Been Given a Treat
Take a nap. Stare out the window and contemplate the errors in Einstein’s Theory of Relativity while cursing the Human’s inability to understand your language.
The Humans Are Away and You’ve NOT Been Given a Treat
Eat the newest shoe you can get your teeth on. Bonus points given for causing the female of the house to say to her husband “That Dog of YOURS …”